I said I'd do the dishes mom

Straight girls watching Rizzoli and Isles: Why can’t I have a relationship like Jane & Maura have, with my BFF?
Me: because you guys aren’t fucking gay!


America is some fucked up dystopian shit honestly like how are y’all even surviving? Paying for healthcare? $60,000 on tuition? POC getting shot in Wal-Marts? White men shooting up elementary schools? That’s terrifying I’m worried about all of you

(via madquinn13)


i’m a huge fan of politically incorrect jokes. listen to this absolute classic: “abraham lincoln was never president”!

(via tinyhungryhippo)



Special skills: extensive Harry Potter knowledge, can watch an entire TV show in a week, knows words to every Disney song, can form abnormally strong attachments to fictional characters, Microsoft Word

So you mean, able to retain knowledge, has incredible focus and drive, excellent at processing media, remembers obscure details when needed, and has great skill at creating connections with individuals despite minimal interfacing?

And Microsoft Word?

(via tinyhungryhippo)

“why” “because i said so” good one mom you should be a lawyer

(via communistbakery)


can the united states just chill for one day

(via salutations-sloth)



school cum

(Source: joyridng, via fluent-in-lesbianism)



i went to school with a pair of identical twins and one time one of them was like “i’m so hot, i’d fuck me” and he turned to wink suggestively at his brother who just batted his eyelashes and blew a kiss at him

did you go to ouran highschool

(Source: nellhorin, via confirmance)


hate when i lose something and my parents says “well i guess u didnt care about it enough” like you’ve lost me in a grocery store before 

(via felixdawkins)