I said I'd do the dishes mom



13thmoon:

i would take naps in forests every day if bugs didnt exist 

(via yesallthegoodnamesweretaken)

zootedboy:

*black couple living in a haunted house*

wife: the house haunted

husband: we out this bitch

*everybody lives*

(via fl4m3l)

givemeinternet:

Was this a joke or is someone getting fired?

thirstiest:

i’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it badly enough that it’s not funny anymore

(Source: thirstiest, via fl4m3l)

phobias:

Tumblr has given me a perfect sense of humour that’s shared by nobody at school

(via communistbakery)

y0itskameron:

oh my god
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